Shad gets drunk preview XD

“Oh, he had too much, ‘s all.”  He took a sip from a goblet with a slice of pineapple perched on the rim.  “Like...ten ‘r twenty.”
“Ten or twenty of what?” Amy asked suspiciously.  “What are you drinking?”
“Pineapple ‘n coconut,” Shad answered cryptically, then started to sing out of tune.  “You put the lime ‘n the coconut, and shake ‘t all up...You put the lime ‘n the coconut, and shake ‘t all up...
Amy grabbed him by the wrist and led him to the kitchen, where the pina colada ingredients were scattered in plain sight.  She stared at the rum bottle in pure disbelief.
“You’re drunk!”
Shad hiccuped.  “Wot?”
“How many did you have!?!”
“Jus’ this one.”
Amy frowned disapprovingly.  “That’s impossible.”
“Well, ‘t isn’t.”  Shad folded his arms for a moment, then began gesturing as he spoke in a grandiose fashion.  “Waaayyy back when I was ‘n Russia ‘t happened to me once.  ‘Twas ma friend Yuri’s birthday, ‘n we had vodka.  I ‘d like...one sip ‘r shot ‘r whatever and I went pfffthhh on the couch.  ‘Course I woke up that night with a horrid hangover ‘n I pretty much slept the whole next day...”
Amy swiped the goblet out of his hands.  “You should go lie down, Shad.”
Shad tried to take it back from her, forgetting that he was infinitely stronger.  “Give it back!”
“No.”  Amy dumped the remainder of the pina colada down the sink.  “Go lie down.”
He crossed his arms with a pouting expression.  “Then I probably won’t be able to get back up again ‘n I can’t sleep ‘cause ‘ts nighttime...’n ‘t would be very boring.”