This valentine is black and green
Sweetheart colors not often seen
But love is not what these colors mean
For this is a card of hate
Lucas protests your cliff-diving ways
And the dragons who speak more than petty horse-neighs
"I will not ride on Ryu, no matter what you say!
Even though that's no longer his name.
This gaudy hair of mine fills me with woe
Plus the characters who are always the first to go
And the sexual tension: why must you torture me so
When I've done nothing but obey your every whim?
Do away with the cannibals, and the butterflies!
And please, stop exploiting my fear of heights
I'd rather stay here and look up at the skies
Than to look down to find clouds at my feet."
Now, this card is the extent of my artistic skills
For a set like yours, Mary, I'd probably kill
Good thing we have characters to torture instead
Or we'd end up chopping off somebody's head.